Meat: It Does a Body Good. Hopefully.

Several years ago, when we were both living in Rochester, Aaron said to me with great enthusiasm: "I'm going to send Maria a beef log!"

It was a Christmas gift. He bought it at a mall kiosk and mailed it to her at work so that she'd have to open it in front of her coworkers who, he hoped, would ask, "Oooh, what'd you get?" and she, he hoped, would have to reply, "A beef log."

Aaron thought it was hilarious, I thought it was hilarious, and Maria, thankfully, thought it was hilarious.

And now, I'm happy to say, I have firsthand knowledge of how funny it is to receive meat in the mail. My brother, Jonathan, send me a crate of meat for Christmas from a famous meat company that I would be happy to name on this blog if their marketing reps would like to negotiate product placement fees.

I was not at home when the meat arrived. My housemates graciously accepted the delivery and rearranged the fridge, lowering the shelves to accommodate the gigantic container. Maria wrote a note that said, "Beth Ann, Your brother sent you some ... perishables." She said that the funniest part of this gift is that, of the four people who live here, I seem like the least likely to receive a crate of meat in the mail. Even when you factor in that Moray and Aaron limit their meat intake.

Once I stopped giggling at the fact that I own a crate of meat (why is this so funny to me?), I began to embrace this opportunity to learn how to cook. I know how to cook a few things, but I've never tried to cook steak or pork chops or fish. Well, I tried to cook salmon once, but it was terrible.

Anyway, the pamphlet accompanying the meat says that it will stay fresh in the freezer for around three months. That gives Maria and me (the only ones in the house willing to consume the meat) a limited amount of time in which to work our way through the inventory. We've decided to prepare and eat meat together once a week, on Thursdays. This past Thursday was our first meat adventure. It was January 4th, which I think is appropriate because January 4th is my grandfather's birthday, and he was a real steak-and-potatoes kind of guy. He died nearly 14 years ago. Of a heart attack, actually.

But I digress. Our first meat adventure was very successful. We made Smoked Pork Chops with Onion-and-Cider Glaze, and it was quite delicious. Neither of us had ever made pork chops before. In fact, neither of us could even remember the last time we'd eaten pork chops. Oh, we also had steamed carrots and rice. And some excellent white wine that was left over from our New Year's party. It can't be all about the meat, you know.

Anyway, we plan to blog about our meat adventures so y'all can share in the excitement with us. But we're not sure how we should refer to this project. Operation Carnivore? Project Meat? Let us know what you think. And if anybody would like to send Moray and Aaron a crate of pasta, please know that they prefer organic varieties.