Spectra Pipeline (Or: Wait, You Want to Do WHAT?!)

Every now and then, an idea comes along that is so astonishingly terrible, so egregiously ill-conceived, so mind-numbingly lunatic, that even in the great State of New Jersey one cannot find an elected official who can be bribed into backing it.

I’m speaking here of the proposal to build a natural gas pipeline straight through Downtown Jersey City.

Well, not STRAIGHT through. The pipeline would have enough twists and turns to bring it within close proximity of the Jersey City Medical Center, the Liberty Science Center, and at least four public schools. It would follow a good length of the highly-trafficked NJ Turnpike Extension. It would come within four blocks of Our House in Jersey.

And the thing about gas pipelines is, well, sometimes there are mishaps.

Mishaps aren’t as infrequent as you might think. In June, one person was killed in Northern Texas when a pipeline was accidentally hit during a routine utility pole installation. Last week, a pipeline ruptured in Austin County, Texas. There were no fatalities or injuries, but then again, it happened in a field.

That’s just two very recent examples from somebody who’s too lazy to read through more than a half page of Google search results and too respectful of your intelligence to point out some of the more famous and catastrophic pipeline disasters.

But I will point out this: The news stories surrounding these incidents all use phrases like “near the village of” or “60 miles north of.” That’s because common sense dictates that you relegate hazardous materials to the outskirts of a densely populated area, not the heart of a city. When you’re playing with fire, you play the odds, and the odds are that there will be fewer casualties in a field than in any town big enough to have its own Financial District.

You have to wonder where the Department of Homeland Security stands on all of this. “If You See Something, Say Something,” the posters say. All right, then: I see miles of highly flammable, toxic gas winding through my town, just waiting to be ignited. I assume that the duties of the Port Authority police will expand from inspecting my handbag at the PATH station to confiscating lighters from the smokers outside.

The comical part of this to me is that anybody would trust Jersey City not to blow up a gas pipeline. This is an accident-prone town, with quarterly water main breaks, bad drivers, firecracker-wielding children, and frequent train delays attributed to electrical problems. It’s a crime-ridden town, with gang members, plenty of weapons, and a neighborhood known as “Gunshot Alley.” It’s a town lacking in oversight and competent leadership, full of sitting public officials who are busy defending themselves on corruption charges, and politicians who, historically and tragically, have been unable to distinguish between a pigeon and a dove.

Don’t get me wrong: I love it here. But I also love the e-trade baby. Doesn’t mean I’m going to hand him a matchbook and invite him to play.

I’m not naïve. I know that this world, this nation, this state, this town, and this house use a lot of energy, and I know that the energy has to come from somewhere, and I know that it has to be delivered somehow. And perhaps if it were being delivered to my house, my town, or even my state, I’d feel differently. But that’s not the case with the pipeline in question. This pipeline is meant to deliver natural gas to Con Edison in New York City. As far as I can tell, the only reason to route the pipeline through Jersey City (instead of through Staten Island, which is a viable alternative and, notably, an actual part of New York City) is because it will save the natural gas company, Spectra Energy, some money.

Of course, Spectra Energy and the New Yorkers who will ultimately benefit from lower Con Ed bills have put together an excellent package to compensate New Jersey for the risks they ask us to bear. Oh, wait. No, they haven’t. You would think they’d offer to pay for increased emergency response resources or infrastructure improvements, or help us relocate our schools away from the gas fumes, or throw some goodwill money at our community programs, or at least hand over the Statue of Liberty. But so far, nada.

So to sum up, Jersey City is expected to selflessly take on a considerable amount of risk for no good reason and with absolutely no compensation. If I may present this mathematically:

Great Risk + No Benefit = Outrageously Stupid

As an interstate energy project, Spectra’s proposed pipeline is subject to the approval of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC). To FERC’s credit, they’ve scheduled a meeting to solicit feedback from the community about the project, and I intend to be there. If you’d care to join, the meeting is tonight, from 7:00 to 10:00 p.m. at Ferris High School (35 Colgate Street). More information is available at http://www.jerseycitynj.gov/.