Saturday, February 18, 2006

...then it all melted.

Well, that was a short-lived blizzard. Actually, Beth Ann informs me that it wasn't technically a blizzard, because of something related to wind speed. Not sure. In any case, there is no longer any snow, just a few meager days later. all 2 feet or so of it has melted.

But I'm feeling nostalgic already! Maybe it will snow again one day.

In the mean time, I would like to update our fanbase of 3 people by informing them of what the residents of 'Our House In Jersey" have been up to:

Beth Ann in now obsessed with Roy Mendenhall, of "Cookie's Roy Mendenhall's Way" fame. Well, maybe not fame, but she made his cookies last weekend. They were in a local San Antonio cookbook. That's more famous than me. Although at this point, I get more google hits than Roy Mendenhall. Ha, Roy! Anyway. His cookies are technically just oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips and walnuts, but apparently you can patent that. Or maybe he didn't even go that far, maybe he just "claims them as his own". Anyway, if we go to Burger King ever, we shall no longer want it our way, we'll want it Roy's way. and if that's not enough, we might have to make a Backstreet Boys (or is it that 98 degree band?) parody that goes "I want it Roy's way. Mendenhall!! I want to bake some coooo-kies. Mendenhall!!! Let's add some chocolate chiiiiips. Mendenhall! Why not through in some oatmeal? IIII waaaant it Roooooy's way."

Aaron (or dubla as I affectionately call him) has been kicking it solo style on his new website, also courtsey of iweb: www.ajforsyth.com (i think, it's listed in our side bar.) He has yet another spinoff blog on it. And lots of excellent make-up work. You know, though, I'm not sure about all these "spinoff" blogs. Aaron and Moray seem to think they can do better on their own, they don't NEED the support and guidance we offer on Our House In Jersey. And that's fine, I just want them to realize, we were a team once. There was a time when I would look at the blog and see monkey ball battles. Well, verbal mokeyball battles, anyway. Now?? NOW?? I actually have to communicate with you two in person. What kind of internet relationship is that?!?!?! Moray, you used to be my internet boyfriend. Now you're just my husband!!! We never IM anymore!!! *sooob*

This is what happens when I wake up too early and blog.

OH! But back to Aaron, Mr. Equity has been uber-motivated, getting up early and doing lots of excellent auditions. rock on, aaron. even if you don't blog on our blog anymore. hmph.

I sometimes enjoy my inconsistent use of capital letters.

Okay, Moray now has, like, 46 friends on myspace. ok, maybe not as many as demetri martin, but pretty good! He's had people all across the country sending him messages and enjoying his paintings. There are now a few for sale online! I can't remember the address, but you can click it through his website. Also, a side note, our floor now has many-colored paint blotches on it. Always very motivating. go bun! even if you don't blog on our blog anymore. hmph.

As for moi, well, I've played at Gianna's 3 times now. the first was fine, i guess they like me. the second was valentine's day, and there happened to be a reality show being filmed at the back table for LOGO, which conveniently, no one mentioned to me ahead of time. Somewhere in the world there is now footage of me improvising non-public domain music in a piano bar for a gay reality show. on valentine's day. I like to imagine sitting with Beth Ann when we were 10 or so, discussing our future plans for world-domination, and thinking, where WILL I be 17 years from now? And the skies open and say "Maria... future greatness awaits you... cable television.... new york city.... a day will come when you will improvise non-public domain music in a piano bar for a gay reality show. on valentine's day." or something to that effect.

Livia no longer has a lamp-shade on her head, and is recovering nicely. Basil is huge. There is order in the world. And that's the update!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

0 for 2

I'm outraged, and you will be too when you finish reading this sentence and discover that I WAS ONCE AGAIN OVERLOOKED BY THE NEW YORKER CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST!!

This time, the illustration shows a pregnant man in a shirt & tie talking to a not pregnant man in a shirt & tie. My entry was: "She told me she loved me."

The finalists' entries are:

"She told me she had protection." [Very similar to mine, but without the implication that he fell for a pickup line.]

"The ultrasound says it's a keg of Bud Light." [My theory? A multimillion product placement deal between the New Yorker and Budweiser.]

"No one expects an immaculate conception until it happens to him." [I have nothing to say here, but I need to leave a comment in brackets for continuity's sake.]

What I need is a cartoon to which I can apply one of the hilarious real-life quotes I've heard during the past couple of weeks. A sampling of my favorites:

Favorite quote from Maria about Valentine's Day: "It's so stupid. Who wants to fall in love in the middle of February?"

Favorite quote by a stranger: "If you can't fart in a bathroom, where CAN you fart?"

Favorite pickup line: "Your eyes are like ... " [Loooooong pause while he tries to think of something. Tip for men: Don't start this sentence if you don't have a REALLY good ending. Actually, there is no good ending. Just don't start this sentence. By the way, the pause here was probably longer than it's taking you to read this.] " ... like ... They're like cashews! Your eyes are like cashews!!" [Insert my uncontrollable laughter. Other people start staring.] "Well, wait, wait, not cashews, really. But definitely some kind of nut." [Laughter becomes even more uncontrollable. Did somebody really just say this to me? Nobody around me can believe it, either. LOTS of staring.] "Definitely a nut. Like a walnut. Your eyes are like a walnut. I mean, not the inside, not the walnut, but, like, the SHELL of a walnut. Your eyes are like the shell of a walnut."

I'd like to see a cartoonist draw THAT.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Viva Las Aaron

If you're familiar with the residents of Our House In Jersey, you're aware that today is a very special day for us. Today is Dia de la Constitucion (or, "Constitution Day") in Mexico. This holiday is muy important to us because it's the official holiday that commemorates the Constitution of Mexico, sort of like Arbor Day here in the U.S. We marked the occasion by dining last night at Caliente's on 7th in the Village, joined by several good friends who are also very interested in Mexican history and/or food.

Not to be outdone by Mexico, the folks in San Marino are celebrating the Anniversary of the Liberation of the Republic from the Alberoni Occupation, which, I suspect, commemorates the liberation of the Republic from the Alberoni occupation.

And, due to the time difference, the Republic of the Congo is celebrating Presidents Day (which commemorates presidents who have already been commemorated by commemorative coins) a full two weeks before the U.S.

So there's clearly a lot to celebrate today, February 5, 2006. Around here, we'll jump on any excuse to relax and have a little fun, so we've been observing these important international holidays by lazing around, chit-chatting, and eating cake. Also, we've decked out the house with Transformers-themed decorations, in recognition of the Transformers' important role in the liberation of San Marino from Cardinal Alberoni. Overall, it's been a fun and commemorative weekend.

Also, it's Aaron's birthday. Happy Birthday, Aaron.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Trying something new... don't hate me if it doesn't work

AND speaking of the gas man, friend Matt Van Brink has submitted the following song in appreciation of our trials and tribulations with servicemen lately:



My apologies for my crappy html if that doens't work.

New York's newest piano bar chanteuse

Well, it's official. I'm now going to play piano and sing in a piano bar in Greenwich Village on Wednesday nights. So kudos to Mr. David Shenton, my "in" with the piano bar crowd. I'll try not to let you down, David. Now I just need to, um, learn 4 hours of music, and a few showtunes and/or Billy Joel songs. I find the image of me singing Billy Joel songs to a NYC cabaret crowd extremely amusing. Although once I did do a very morbid version of the song "Pressure." Anyway, this is kind of a hoot, we'll see how it goes. Hopefully they won't fire me when I don't know how to play "A Moment Like This" on command. But at least I now have a chance to get a lot of playing and improvising done, which is something I could really benefit from. The proprietors seem really nice, and the supervisor lady is a trained musician, and seems like a great gal. She said she might sing some arias once in a while. I asked her if I could do Radiohead covers, and she said, "It's your night! Play whatever you want!" so I feel somewhat better. Anyway, if anyone is hangin' on 7th Ave. and Christopher on Wednesday nights, stop by Gianna's (next to the Duplex), grab a drink and here me croon out a diddy or two. Oh, and if you're looking for somewhere special to hang with your significant other on Valentine's day, apparently i've got that shift too. I have to think of some amusing love songs to play, if anyone has some suggestions!

Ok, aside from that shameless plug, tomorrow is Mr. Aaron Jerome's 30th b-day, and tonight we're having a special celebration for our special housemate, involving lots of mexican food, party items, and an excellent movie about Trolls, along with special guest Heather Dexter, who took the Chinatown Express all the way from Boston to be here. Word!

And a post from Maria wouldn't be complete without at least SOME mention of some service person screaming at her about something. Well, we finally got our boiler doors replaced just in time to have the Verizon guy come over and yell at me about our phone wiring. After spending days trying to explain the SAME SITUATION to a variety of customer service folk, he informs me that none of them know what they're talking about, and proceeds to stomp around the house (this is 8:30 am by the way), tell me he doesn't know where the phone line is actually connected to our house, and I need to go buy a grounded phone box and pay to have all the jacks in the house rewired/reinstalled. Obviously that's the answer! You have a 150 year old house, it's not like it's NEVER HAD PHONE SERVICE BEFORE!! FIGURE IT OUT, verizon man! ANyway, so after he finished telling me how dumb I was for not knowing where everything was connected, and me trying to get him to go away because I was too tired to deal with him, Moray says "Isn't Verizon responsible for everything outside the house?" and the guy says "..... yeah. ....... Let me have one more look."

anyway, now we finally have phone service. Thank you, husband!

ciao all,

Maria

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