Yes I do exist...

Hello,

In case there has been any question about this alleged fourth roomate. Does he exsist? Did he fall down a well? Has he locked himself in his room cut off from all technology except a TV, DVD Player, and a very extensive collection of TV shows on DVD? The answer is yes to all the above. I am alive! I did fall down a well for a brief stint...I am ok though...but I did meet the girl from "The Ring" while I was down there (the japanese one, not the american one) Side note, I have to tell you she was pleasant as punch...that movie did not do here justice at all, further proof how media can just tarnish someones character...what a sweetheart she was! I have also been watching way too many TV shows on DVD. However none of this excuses my negelect of the blog. I even had wireless down the well, in fact that is how I got out...I emailed Lassie (sassylassie_21@gmail.com), who in turn text messaged Timmy, who alerted the local authorities that I was stuck down the well. SO I totally could have blogged. But really I have just been pure lazy and I appologize.

So obviously I am bored at work...I mean I could be off saving people...but well, truth be told that has just become so dull. How many people can you save and not grow numb to it all. Superman, how do you do it. I imagine being a super hero is much like when I was on call at the hospital. The minute you make plans some dumb ass kid who wasn't listening to his mom falls into Niagra Falls. Then you get pissed because you just sat down to eat and Desperate Houewives is on in five minutes. Now you have to find a phone booth (which let me tell you is not easy these days...as I found out the other day when my cell phone died and I got lost on my way to a make up job...I could not find a working pay phone to save my life, let alone an actual booth) Then you have to rip a perfectly good suit for dramatic effect (and now that gets expensive and it is not like you get paid when your a super hero...you have to work some crappy day job where your boss is a mean verbally abusive butt hole and you are over worked and underpaid) Then you save the kid, he probably throws up on you and you have to pat him on the head, smile, act all happy, and pretend it was all in days work...when you really want to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper and tell him he is a stupid shit because it's not like his mom will punish him for not listening to her...NO she will give him a big hug and say "Thank-god your OK...and then she will buy him a new video I-pod to make up for the fact that she feels like a bad mother. Then you fly home your dinner is cold you, you were supposed to meet friends for cocktails but now they are all at home in bed, and you missed Desperate Housewives and you forgot to set the VCR to record it, that is right you still have a VCR because on your super hero salary you can't afford Tivo.

So anways like I said I am bored at work and feeling guilty for not blogging (because when I am bored I find the perfect thing to do is feel guilty about something) So I figured I would make up for old time with you kids and share some nonsense stories.

Enjoy...love and kisses,

A

PS-as always I am sorry for the poor use of punctuation ;-)

*OUR HOUSE IN JERSEY* celebrates 1 year!

Well, it has been one year since the monkey ball competitions began. One year since Basil and Olivia started breaking various objects of all kinds. One year since Beth Ann drove a 26-ft (or maybe 28-ft?) truck 350 miles with fish all the way from Ra-cha-cha to Our House in Jersey. And it has been one year since we officially posted our first blog as husband, wife, and roomies. In celebration, we present the following:



oh, and also, a car on fire across the street. we didn't get the fire on tape, since it was scary and we were concerned. but we got the firemen cutting the trunk open.



We hope you have enjoyed this segment of weirdness. Beth Ann/Liz is presently doing her cross-country trip to Seattle with friends Heather and Sean, and when she returns, we are having a celebratory evening on Sept. 16th. All you faithful friends and readers are invited! If you need directions, let me know! Mark your calenders! I'll send out an obligatory email as well.

Hooray! Blogging is fun!

-love maria

Just can't get enough

On a rampage roll today (or should that be a sesame seed bun), I read this article, re-read it, as usual was disgusted, then fascinated, then disgusted, then felt the need, (again) to share!

Mr Goodburger

feeling kind of strange towards micky-D-Donalds, could it be they have changed there ways, should I care if they sink into oblivion!


Nah

Comedy captured in time

This is an email to remind myself of where I have come from. From time to time, I get lost in this ‘New World’ far from home, this big ol' country and its crazy ways. It’s good to come down to earth with a bump and see things haven’t changed as much in sunny Scotland (Viewer caution, this has nothing to do with phony Blair or anything miserable so you can sleep at ease, but you might start smoking!)

Tom And Jerry

Still just as barking mad as the rest of the world, a world where violence is regarded as ‘ok’ and smoking is regarded as the demon from hell, coming to suck you into a new arse hole of an abyss, where your daily torment will result in the end of all things, into a smoky chasm of your own addicted transporting Esq. nightmare, the soon to be poisoned youth will be lost, unable to live peacefully but happily kicking the crap out of each other, (Co’s that’s acceptable human behavior nowadays) where will it end, babies on roofs, politicians who work for nothing, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria!!!

- madness

Pirate Politics - Part 2

Yee-haw, is not an Education policy

Evo-Polution

Jesus might be!

A night on the Streep

I think I can safely say that everyone in the house thinks that Meryl Streep rocks!!!

If you play this blog backwards, it says "Aaron is dead." But it's not true.

The purpose of this post is to reassure y'all that Aaron Jerome does, in fact, still live here. It occurred to us at dinner tonight that his failure to blog for many months may have given the misleading impression that he left Our House In Jersey to be a glittering backup dancer on the next Cher-well tour. But he's here, he's alive, he's well, he's cracking us up as usual. Earlier tonight he made us dinner (while singing "Me and Bobby McGee" in the style of Cher), and even set fresh flowers on the table. Following dinner, we had a screening of "Daddy's Pride and Joy", a short film in which Aaron has a cameo. At the risk of sounding like James Lipton, I think I can safely say that this is the greatest film ever made. Following THAT, he and I spent some time flipping through his notebooks of stand-up comedy ideas (he's working on a show), which include random scrawled phrases like "vomit sneeze" and "nipples askew".

During the course of the evening, Aaron gave me permission to share with you this little glimpse into our house (in Jersey). It's a running list we keep on the fridge. So without further ado, we present:

The Gayest Things Aaron Has Ever Said

#7. "C'mon, finish up. The Golden Girls are on Lifetime at 10:30. Back-to-back episodes, followed by the Designing Women."

#6. "I should've known that wasn't Barbra Streisand. I've seen all her movies."

#5. "Let's go fabric shopping and scent shopping!"

#4. "Those will be really good for potpourri!"

#3. "I can't believe I went through three episodes of Wonder Woman while I was decoupaging."

#2. "He looked just like Barbra Streisand's son."

And the #1 Gayest Thing Aaron Has Ever Said (and it should be noted that he blurted it out during a commercial break at a Super Bowl party full of straight men) ...

"Oh my God! Bette Midler looks so good! She has lost sooo much weight!"

Updated Alert

===============The terror alert for the house today is now a hint of Latte================

Basil and Olivia educational video No:324

Toilet training



I expect you two to take notes!

Alert

================The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige================
================The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige================
================The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige================
================The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige================
================The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige================
================The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige================
================The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige================
================The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige================
======The terror alert for the house today is slightly beige now with a hint of fusia========

It's a long John, He's a long gone, like a turkey through the corn

While reading through forteantimes.com (the ‘real’ worldly news) in an attempt to escape from the coming apocalypse that is apparently happening RIGHT NOW (according to CNN/Fox/nbc/abc/ etc etc......) which is making it difficult to focus on ACTually living in the moment, I unfortunately found this interesting article the other day and felt the need to share what I considered were my own worst fears about modern western society and working environments (particularly poignant as I’m am considering my career options)


Western values 'are causing mental illness'

From Leo Lewis in Tokyo
        
        
THE rapid spread of Western business practices in Japan has caused widespread mental illness and is responsible for a deepening demographic crisis, government officials say.

Statistics indicate that 60 per cent of workers suffer from “high anxiety” and that 65 per cent of companies report soaring levels of mental illness.

Meanwhile, the size of the Japanese population is shrinking, and for the first time the Government has acknowledged that the falling birth rate is linked to job-related factors. Directors of the Japanese Mental Health Institute blame the same factors for rising levels of depression among workers and the country’s suicide rate, which remains the highest among rich nations.

Merit-based pay and promotion are of particular concern because they are at odds with the traditional system, built on seniority, that has reigned supreme in corporate Japan. In the harsh new atmosphere of cut-throat rivalry between workers, the Institute for Population and Social Security argues, young people do not feel financially stable enough to start families.

The trend is put down to Japanese companies’ attempts to globalise by adopting working practices more closely in line with US and British models. Larger numbers of temporary staff, a greater willingness to sack people and greater pay disparities are the downside.

A spokesman for the Mental Health Institute said that the emphasis on individual performance was driving Japanese workers — particularly those in their thirties — to mental turmoil. “People tend to be individualised under the new working patterns,” he said. “When people worked in teams they were happier.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,25689-2305849,00.html

TeSt

test

She's the youngest one in the house ... or is she?

We're looking for potential partners for a very special Our House in Jersey project. If you possess the expertise and/or financial means to help facilitate the carbon dating of Maria, please let us know ASAP. Many thanks.

Bear Necessities

Because it made me laugh out loud, I have to share an excerpt from Newsweek's coverage of the G8 Summit. By Richard Wolffe. Weeks old, but I only just got around to reading it this weekend:

The other world leaders arrive that evening, and the official summit begins with a lavish feast. The dinner is something out of a Fellini epic, staged at the magnificent Peterhof Palace, built by Peter the Great. The scene is a uniquely Russian mix of historical grandeur, political power and touristy kitsch. The Russians offer a seven-course meal including Caviar and beef stroganoff ... served by waiters wearing powdered wigs. Outside, a bear dressed in a green tutu with pink polka dots performs tricks. Inside, Chancellor Merkel starts to tell the story of a rare wild bear that was recently shot and killed in Germany. This prompts Japan's Junichiro Koizumi to reel off every bearlike word in his English vocabulary. "Teddy bear," he says for no apparent reason. "We must bear criticism. Unbearable." The leaders all start giggling.

Pirate Politics

Yee-haw, is not a foreign policy


yaaarr might be

Hit the ROAD Jack...........

OK, going to get political, avert your eye's now....................

I second Thom Yorke and his opinion on Tony Blair:

"I've had enough of this", he said. "Our government sitting on the fence with the US while World War 3 appears to be breaking out in Lebanon and Northern Israel."

Yorke continued: "We must throw Tony Blair out of office NOW. He does not represent the views of British people. He does not represent the views of his foreign office and officials. He does not even represent the views of those in his cabinet. He cares too much about his relationship with Bush and Murdoch. This man is not fit to be our Prime Minister."

http://www.radiohead.com/deadairspace/


I thought wow that's a tad harsh until I just read this today and I have to ask, what the F-ing hell is going on:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/5237452.stm
the this
http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/08/01/mideast.blair/index.html

Now that is a big pile of holy-shite, there seem to be more than one "arc of extremism"...

People of Britain I implore you to remove this monster he is out of touch with the world and the British people, since when did a former member of CND become a warmonger.  He and his master's are going to drag us so far back into the dark ages just for their moral crusade, that we might regret this for the rest of our life time.

We put people in power to sort things out, not crazy militarists who make it worse, WAke up people get him out